Catchin' up
(posting this 5 days after writing it because going to find wifi was less important than finding a hurricane... )
Back, b*tches. Did you miss me? I bet. With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays I decided to take a little breather, but it's a new year and a new blog post, my friends.
I just sat down on my flight to New Orleans -- yep, New Years in NOLA, bay-beh! Incase I don’t make it out alive -- I love you all. Disperse my minimal amount of valuable belongings amongst yourselves fairly. Ladies, don’t fight over my nude patent YSL sandals (#humblebrag/my boss bought them for me, don't worry I'm still poor), I’d obviously like to be buried in those, duh. The rest is fair game, though - and as I've asked previously, everyone must take a shot of Jack Daniels at my casket.
The babies crying on this flight are minimal, which is nice. Being a full time nanny you would think that I’d become numb to the painful sounds that children make, but I think it’s actually had the opposite effect. I have become acutely aware of the actions of kids around me at all times. It's like a dog whistle, for dogs. I hear kids from a mile away. Sometimes I feel like they're drawn to me, like they know about this crippling power they have over me, so they choose the seat next to me on the bus, when I'm hungover and late for work. This is why I carry candy at all times. Just kidding the candy is for me. Little bastards. Gotta love 'em though.
So I managed to finally finish that podcast everyone has been talking about, "Serial". You should download it and spend 12 hours listening to it if you have any time you're looking to fill with an incredibly frustrating murder trial investigation that will leave you wanting answers that you will surely never get. Honestly though, I did enjoy it. It must be that detective blood that pumps thru my veins, thanks Dad. It revolves around a then 17 year old guy, who is currently going on 15 years of jail time who may or may not have killed his highschool girlfriend - I know, you're already hooked. His case doesn't quite pin him as the murderer, but it leaves few other options. Apparently he is an upstanding (prison) citizen these days, and continues to stick to his story of innocence. I wonder how I’d fare in jail… I've definitely upped my chances of survival by watching Orange is the New Black. Speaking of, you should also dedicate a few hours of your life that you will never get back to binge watching that series on Netflix. I’m just happy that I finally get all the “mail cheemp” references that my friends have been making. I know, that made you feel left out. Go give it a listen, and you can be part of the Serial club too. And don't worry, I thought it was spelled Cereal when I searched for it too. #butwait,didhedoit? #heseemssonice #iloveAdnon? #thateffingNeishacall.
I just hopped onto the final leg of my trip to the Big Easy. I must say the Dallas airport is top notch. A candy by the pound kind of candy store will make any two hour layover bearable. Sour gummy worms and gummy bears, if you must know. I ate them hesitantly, considering how tiiiiiiight my jeans are getting these days. It was either the candy or the squished Clif bar that lives in my bag incase of a starvation situation though, so the choice was clear. How timely that a New Years Resolution needs to be made -- still working out one that is both challenging and realistic. Girls got needs, ya know?
Hope you’ve all had a great time enjoying the holidays with loved ones, and crazy ones, and ones that you don’t love but have to pretend to. I know that I did. I'm looking forward to sharing more this year, and taking So Sue Me even further. It feels nice to check back in – I guess I missed you, too.
